Bad Poetry and Honest Feelings

by thoughtsatlarge

Every so often, now and then, cancer takes another one I love.

I am never to see them again. I am told they are living above.

I need them to help me live, I need them to help me love.

I miss the love that they give, but I am limited with them up above.

I am sad now she’s gone. There’s no limit to my grief.

I will be mad now she’s gone. Don’t force me to keep it brief.

Dante and Milton, Shakespeare and Browning, they paint pictures of heaven and smile.

But every day I feel I’m drowning because I miss her over every mile.

There is no comfort, there is no relief. There is no respite for my heart.

There is no solace; there is only grief because I loved her from the very start.

Cancer is evil, twisted and sick. Chemo is barbaric, radiation burns.

Killing from inside, impossible to lick; surgery failed and now my heart yearns.

We built a future, we worked so hard. We built a future full of cash stashes.

We planted the roses, we tended the yard and now I must rebuild from the ashes.

With the future I have now, I know I’ll be alone.

I seek a new path somehow; coming to terms with an empty home.

If I could pick, I would say take me quick. I don’t need to pack.

There’s no reward for being sick. Order me a massive heart attack.

Cancer scares me and makes me shiver, and heaven is a myth to me.

When options are gone, no more arrows in the quiver I know her again I’ll never see.

There is no happiness, there is only pain and I still can’t see them in the stars above.

Every so often, time and again, cancer takes the ones I love.

I wish I could stop my kids’ feeling of pain, their eyes puffy and red from crying.

They’ve lost their mother; there will be no refrain. I’m lost without her, but still trying.

I can only chart a love-filled path for them now, try to make them a new home.

My life is in ruins but I must build it somehow, perhaps near the sea and the foam.

Rhody is home, it could be worse. We will leave the bad memories in our Texas home.

Compared to Texas it is a pain in the purse, but better to live in a land we have known.

So hand me a tissue, allow me to cry. I struggle to move forward, stuck in my head.

She was so amazing I don’t understand why cancer took my life’s love from my bed